Dwight's persistence for Jim to use nitrous is another reminder of just how little regular non-car people knows about cars.

Earlier this year a colleague asked me about purchasing a new car. She said, “I want something SUV-like.” I asked if she had any preferences in drive train, fuel economy, style or brand. Her response, “As long as it works with my iPhone.”

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Yes. It looks like the ability to sync a phone is now the most influential factor for people buying cars. After further discussion I recommended she drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. She loved it so much she traded in her not-so-dependable Land Rover and went home in a new Jeep GC Overland (You are welcome Sergio).

People are exceptionally strange, singular and unpredictable. They little about cars and marketers know even less about what makes them want to buy cars. This isn’t news.

We band of car people must do more to ensure enthusiast-approved cars remain alive and well. And do more we will!

  • School your friends on cars anytime an opportunity presents itself. If you see a CTS-V explain how Magnetic Ride works or what a positive displacement blower is. Use small non-technical words where possible.
  • If asked for car buying advice – offer examples that support enthusiasts needs. They could include things like; the fuel economy benefits of owning a manual transmission; the safety advantages of a faster 0-60 or the lower service costs associated with rear-wheel drive. (These don’t have to be true. Remember, your friend isn’t a car person and you are the expert. They’ll never know the difference.)
  • When possible always encourage friends to buy the performance variant of a vehicle (SRT, M, V, SVT, S, etc.). Having a friend with a high performance car is almost like having a high performance car.
  • Make fun of boring cars (after complimenting them first). “Wow! Your Corolla must get great gas mileage. Too bad it’s as exciting as watching hippos eat mud.

These are just a few ideas. Feel free to share your tips in the comments.

Remember, when it comes to non-car friends, honesty takes a backseat. Screw that. Put honesty in the trunk. Flat out lie to them. They’ll thank you.